Here's Why & How I Serve Women Like You
I'm Ellen
I powered through some difficult circumstances in my life on faith and fumes, and when I finally could catch my breath, I barely knew the woman I saw in the mirror. I needed to find a way to search and trust my heart.
I'm a woman of a certain age who spent part of her life feeling. . . out of sync.
I have always pursued connections in my life, and that gift took me on a diverse journey through a series of fulfilling experiences: I worked in communications journalism, trained in the benefits of biodynamic craniosacral therapy (in my 50s!), and served on the Council on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the University of Wyoming.
I taught classes in heart-based communications at Homeland Security, various Unity churches, One Spirit Seminary in New York City, a range of organizations, and to individuals.
In 2009, I first learned about HeartMath® and The Connection Practice®, and the simplicity and effectiveness of these methods of communication and conflict resolution gave me the tools to weather several seasons of stressful transitions: In the wake of an ended marriage four years earlier, I continued, as a single mother, to care for two children, one with severe medical issues. I moved eight times. I began a new, hopeful relationship. And in each of these circumstances, I learned to listen to my body and my heart to make a new path.
I talk to people in all stages of life who struggle to feel joy and purpose in the midst of life changes, and this work fulfills a deep need of my own—to guide others through times in their lives that threaten their peace.
I welcome people of all genders in my practice but specialize in restorative relationships with folks who identify as women, are in the later phase of life, and are looking to make sense of the life they’ve lived while also making a plan for what comes next.
Perhaps this resonates with you?
I cannot change your circumstances. But I can offer you a path to emotional freedom that will allow you to embrace this beautiful life of yours, a practice in meeting your own needs and empathizing with the needs of those around you.
I understand that you may feel a little uneasy about engaging in this type of work.
Please rest assured; I wholeheartedly promise:
NO JUDGEMENT.
With extensive practice in empathy, I can hear anything you share with me with a truly open heart and mind.
NO SUGARCOATING.
I won't say things just to make you feel better. We are mining for truth, even if it's uncomfortable.
NO REGRET.
For those ready to take responsibility for their emotional life, this work is absolutely transformational.
May I share an example of how this work has been meaningful in my own life?
Before we start, you should know this: water has always been the place where I feel most alive—free, peaceful, and fully myself.
A PASSION IGNITED
As a young woman, I signed up for a short scuba diving adventure while vacationing in Belize, and it was there, 30 feet underwater and surrounded by indescribable beauty, that I embraced new feelings I wanted to hold onto throughout my life. I felt confidence, delight, and freedom! I earned my scuba certification and continued to budget time and money to satisfy this passion for warm-water diving throughout the next decades. The sheer joy of it helped me through some difficult times in my life.
A HOPEFUL EXPECTATION
Entering my mid-60s, I hadn’t been underwater for a few years, yet the ocean’s familiar rhythms never stopped playing out in the background of my mind, ready to welcome me whenever I returned. The longing was so strong that my husband and I planned a trip for May of 2023. I couldn’t wait to be back in scuba gear. Even though life had taken several dramatic turns since I first dove, the undersea world kept calling me back to its beauty and familiar peace.
A SINKING REALIZATION
My confidence began to slip as I struggled to put on my wetsuit. What were you thinking? My inner critic began listing all of the obstacles I had blocked out as I prepared for my trip. I was 65 with arthritic knees and a tricky ankle. My body was different, larger, older. The young man helping me on the dive boat smiled politely when I told him I'd logged 100+ dives in several countries. I looked into the water and felt absolutely defeated.
A HARD QUESTION
I was not able to scuba dive that day. I was barely able to get under the water, and even when I did, equipment problems forced me back up to the surface, frustrated and embarrassed. Standing there, dripping seawater in a too-small wetsuit, I was overcome with grief over the passage of time, and I asked myself a difficult question. How do I want to write this chapter of my life?
A HEART EVALUATION
In my mind, I flipped back through the previous chapters. Since that first dive in my 20s, almost everything in my life had changed. I’d married, divorced, had children, one of whom had medical needs that demanded my close attention for nearly two decades, married again to a perfect mate, moved several times, and saw both of my children graduate college and leave home. Meanwhile, the clock continued to tick in the background of my life. It was time to ask informed questions and trust my heart to guide me to the answers.
I ASK: HOW DO I FEEL?
As soon as I gave myself the freedom to name the feelings, they made themselves known. I felt regretful, ashamed, sad. I felt scared. They kept coming. Hopeless, desperate, discouraged, tired, uncomfortable, numb, overwhelmed, helpless, and so very, very lost. Even as I named them, I noticed more feelings. Hopeful ones! I felt inspired, motivated, optimistic, and curious. I could feel my training in The Connection Practice kick in as I asked the next question with my hand on my heart.
I ASK: WHAT NEEDS DO MY FEELINGS POINT ME TO?
I knew I needed inspiration and meaning. I longed for fun, adventure, rest, comfort, hope, and humor. I needed honesty. I needed to have power and choice in my life. I needed reassurance, to belong, to matter, to trust, to appreciate and accept myself. Most of all, in the life transition I was experiencing, I longed for ease, beauty, and clarity.
FINALLY, I ASK: AND WHAT DOES MY HEART HAVE TO SAY ABOUT MY NEEDS?
I immediately booked another trip to the sea...That was the motivation, but the work happened more slowly as I prepared again, this time with grace for my aging body and the determination to write a chapter that defined this woman who was older, emotionally stronger, and a bit more comfortable in her skin.
In the months leading up to my trip, I slowly rebuilt my strength and endurance. I read and researched and allowed myself to get excited about diving again. (Oh, and as an act of self-acceptance and good humor, I bought a bigger wetsuit.)
A RENEWED SPIRIT
And the trip was a success. I focused on the art of neutral buoyancy—falling still in the water without bobbing up and down. It was blissful. My confidence returned as I floated, surrounded by the beauty my heart had asked for. I felt the comfort of being a beloved part of something greater than myself and sensed a deep connection to the water and the stunning creatures around me. I got clarity on how I want to age: with purpose while staying present. And, diving was the way I’d do it—the motivator I needed to accomplish that life transition for myself.
A NEW PURPOSE
It was there, underwater at last, that I promised myself I would continue to listen to my heart when life's transitions threatened to catapult me into despair. I will do it for me, and I will do it for others. As I carry my purpose out into the world, I listen.
I hear you when you tell me you feel the grief of unmet expectations, the loss of loved ones, faltering relationships, and the limitations of your changing body. I want to walk you to the same place of peace I found, by identifying your greatest needs, tapping the brilliance of your heart to guide you, and moving forward in new ways to meet those needs. This is peace, and this is freedom.
Now, let's "dive" into your story.