Bravery in front of the camera
Does anyone else have a hard time being photographed?
At 67 my ego still is invested in looking younger, prettier, and in better shape than I am now or have ever been.
I’d have to look in the rearview mirror all the way back to the ‘60s to count the years I’ve been critical of this amazing body.
The body that’s birthed two babies. Laughs from the belly. Loves a good hug. And has the innate ability to imagine what lilacs smell like, recreate the scent in my mind, then enjoy the fragrance throughout my being.
Magnificent!
If I’m honest, the fantasy for my website pictures is that they’ll say I have easy self-assurance.
That I’m comfortable in my body.
And that my aging life, with its real and imagined limits, has a thread of effortlessness running right through the heart of it.
“I’d have to look in the rearview mirror all the way back to the ‘60s to count the years I’ve been critical of this amazing body.”
But admittedly those attributes speak to desire and aspiration as much as fact.
Aging Buoyantly, in all its defiance of the status quo, requires practicality as well as reality and heaps of imagination.
Which means rejecting the lure of comparison—myself to a younger me and to all the beautiful women swirling about.
My website pictures are sans botox, a stylist, and as frustrating as it was, help with hair and make-up.
The photo shoot was a real DIY event.
I stood, sat, and jumped into water encouraged by the photographer and my always supportive husband, Ed.
But still I was alone, and in many ways, it was a lonely day.
Yet somehow joy poked holes in my serious self-consciousness.
Motivation came from knowing that inviting women to be vulnerable means I need to be vulnerable, too.
And believe me, having these pictures taken was a case study in vulnerability.
Sietske Scheulen’s stunning images (https://www.oceanphotobonaire.com/) had me dreamily picturing myself as one of those graceful, 20-something beings she so artfully captures.
But as hair stylist, Jeff, said of the glossy magazine photo I long ago asked him to replicate, “Sweetie, I’m a beautician, not a magician!”
So here’s to taking whatever is challenging, padding it with self-compassion, then adding layers and layers of humor and self-acceptance.
Here’s to being brave even when—especially when—it’s hard.
SONG:
Brave, by Sara Bareilles Click here to listen
